006 | Text,

[keyandstar]

I never really knew my parents. I didn't even know who my father was until recently.

My mother died when I was very little. I've often wondered what my life might have been like if she hadn't.

I've been thinking about the people I fought during the latest draft. The people I killed. I've been wondering if they have children too. If because of me those children will also grow up lonely.

I really wish Dog was here. She's my best friend from back home. She'd know what to say. She always does. It doesn't always make sense, but that doesn't really matter most of the time.

I don't know why I'm writing this. I suppose I just had to get it out, and I'm not very good at talking. Except for with Dog. I could talk to her for hours.

I miss her so much.

That's all, really. Sorry if you just read this and feel like I wasted your time. I didn't mean to.

Comments

written

[originaljackass]

[There are a lot of things here to ponder. The fact that she lost her mother. All the death of the draft. Children of angry cultists. Deep issues of friends being lost. But really, there's one thing that stands out more than anything else here:]

Your friend was named Dog? And I thought Fabletown names were bad.

written

[keyandstar]

Actually she's called the Disreputable Dog.

[ Eventually she'll get around to enlightening him of the fact that it's actually a rather fitting name since it's the name of, you guessed it, a dog. Well, something that looks like a dog, at least. ]

written

[originaljackass]

Is she an actual dog? I dunno what it is about worlds with talking animals, but they aren't exactly clever with names.

written

[keyandstar]

No she's not, but she looks like one.

[ Smells like one too. Oh, the joy of wet dog smell. It is something an immensely powerful magical being just can't be without, really. ]

written

[originaljackass]

Well that's downright unflattering.

[Written]

[complicatedliar]

Even monsters were children once.

There is no room in battle for such distinctions.

[Written]

[keyandstar]

Perhaps if room was made, there would be less battles.

Re: [Written]

[complicatedliar]

In the end, there is only war. And at that point, one must survive.

[Written]

[keyandstar]

I want to believe that there can be another way.

[Written]

[complicatedliar]

After a thousand years, I can't say that it's changed at all.

[windandrain]

Putting them out of your mind would be best, Lirael dear. Remember that this world is different than either of hours. Death is...not so lasting.

[keyandstar]

Is is that way for them too?

[windandrain]

It is the way of this world. Put them from your mind.

And...would you like to talk to a dog?

[keyandstar]

Would it talk back?

[ She's mostly joking. ]

[windandrain]

[There's a scratching at her bedroom door in response]

Yes.

[ written ]

[universal_charm]

You can't think about it. If you do, you just promise yourself a lot of heartache, and even then it might not make sense. Plus, they weren't to sorry and sad about trying to kill you.

[ written ]

[keyandstar]

Perhaps because they also couldn't think about it since it'd mean a lot of heartache.

Re: [ written ]

[universal_charm]

In the end, it's a battle, and you have to make sure you live another day.

It's not... a good feeling, killing someone. But to protect me and mine? Yeah, I'll do it. I did it.

[ written ]

[keyandstar]

How did you end up having to?

[Written]

[rather_be_surfing]

It's never pretty when it's you or the other person that has to die. And it's not a good idea to dwell on it, either, once it's done. All you'll do is wind up breaking yourself.

Maybe put up some prayers or a memorial for the ones you had to kill. There's nothing wrong with respecting the memory of your enemies. Like you said, they had loved ones too.

[Written]

[keyandstar]

Just not thinking about it seems so... cold.

I think you have a good idea there. About having some sort of ceremony or something.

[Written]

[rather_be_surfing]

Well, there's a difference between thinking about it and getting it in a place you feel comfortable with, and then dwelling on it, where you just pick it apart until it starts picking back. Long as it's the first, you're all right.

Seems fitting. Show them some respect, give yourself some closure. Some folks might not appreciate it, though.

written

[descrier]

We weren't exactly given a choice to be sent into battle against our own free-will. I prefer diplomacy over an outbreak of war myself, but the diplomatic relations between enclosures and factions here seems to matter less that they give us no choice but to fight for our survival.

written

[keyandstar]

I'm not even sure what the fight was about.

written

[descrier]

That typically comes with the territory of war and takeovers and we've already been told that this runs far deeper than just the Malnosso, but even with the meaninglessness of pinning us against other factions, I do not think we will ever find out the true purpose.